why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
