Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
