I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
