She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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