Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
