he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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