the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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