just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
