Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
