Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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