i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
