i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize