I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
