I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
soo... how was my night?
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