ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
