"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize