I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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