Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
