Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you win again, gameday.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize