This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
