i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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