naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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