I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
