my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
