No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
FUCK WHALES
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize