are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
