I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
