you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
