you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
my poor anus
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
