Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think my tv is drunk
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize