Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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