Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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