God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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