he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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