I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
