It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
