bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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