She's JV to your varsity
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
