if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
