Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
