Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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