is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
