He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
