ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
