your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
