I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
