Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
