The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
