You're a womanizer and a bitch.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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