Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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