Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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