so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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