2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
