i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
