I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
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