Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
