The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
