your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
